To Thine Own Self Be True
by Trish
Summary: Ever wondered why Ash always has to be a hero and nearly kill himself? From Ash's POV


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To Thine Own Self Be True

By Trish.

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon. Nor do I own the quote below.

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This above all: to thine own self be true,

And it must follow, as the night the day,

Thou canst not then be false to any man.

William Shakespeare - Hamlet, Act 1, Scene 3.

_A/N_: _This is written very OOC - but when you're being introspective, you tend to be a little deep_.

Why? One of the most used words in the English language. I was asked this very question by Misty and Tracey last night. We had been discussing our recent adventures with Lugia on Shamuti Island, and somehow it turned into one about me.

Specifically, it was about how I seem to have a knack for putting myself (and my friends) into weird and dangerous situations. How I always want to help those in need, be they humans or Pokémon. How I will often risk everything, including my life, to save them. How I am willing to stand up for what I believe in.

This attitude has resulted in many close shaves, sometimes too close for comfort. I can't remember how many times I have come close to being killed - too many, according to Misty. This includes the recent events, I nearly drowned after Lugia fell into the ocean, and if Misty hadn't saved me, I would not be here. One would think that after so many near misses, a sense of self preservation would kick in, and I would steer clear of any danger. Not me. I still have to be "Mr. Hero" as Melody would put it. So why do I still do it?

I had to tell my friends that I didn't really know myself. I've never thought much about it. Of course, Misty then had to make a snide comment - which was that I never thought about _anything_, which explained why we end up in these predicaments. 

Misty then gave her own theories on my behaviour. One was that I was under the mistaken belief that I was some kind of superhero. Her second (and favourite) theory was that I was a nutcase with suicidal tendencies. Gee, thanks a lot, _Misty_. Nice to know that you have such a _high_ opinion of me. I swear that I'll never understand that girl. Sometimes she'll act as if she cares, like when she swam out to save me, then the next time she'll be back to her usual insulting self. Ugh, she drives me crazy….

So, today I've decided to think about it and write it down. I'm doing this because…well, I've been extremely lucky so far, by all rights I should be dead. Next time, I might not be so fortunate. This letter will set the record straight - after all, who wants to be remembered as a loony? So, read my lips….er…words. I do _not _think that I am a superhero. I am definitely _not_ a nutcase who purposely tries to get himself killed. If I did that, how would I get to be the World's Greatest Pokémon Master?

I persist in helping others and risking my neck because I want to. Because I follow my heart. Because it is the right thing to do. This is how I've been raised by my parents and it is part of who I am.

Mom and Dad (he died when I was eight) brought me up with a strong set of beliefs. They say that children learn what they live. Mom and Dad taught me by example, they used to help as many people and pokémon as possible, in fact it was a regular habit of theirs. As a result both my parents were really popular with the people in Pallet Town, which is why Mom received so much help after Dad's death.

They taught me that you should always try to help those in need, where possible. The thing is, you never know when you might need help yourself. As the saying goes, one good turn deserves another. I took that lesson to heart, and I'm glad I did. It is _so_ true.

I feel that I _need_ to help, that I _have _to help. I'm not the type of person who would sit still and do nothing. If I did that, and it turns out that something could have been done - I could not forgive myself. I admit that I'm a real softie, I can't stand to see anyone or anything hurt, even if I don't like them. Pikachu knows that I'm soft, and she knows how to exploit it too. All she has to do is look at me with her big brown eyes and I melt.

One good turn deserves another. An example of this was when Charizard became frozen in a block of ice after the battle with Tad and his Poliwrath. Charizard was going to die unless warmth was restored to his body. I stayed with Charizard, rubbing his body in an attempt to restore heat and circulation, despite the fact that he had caused me nothing but trouble ever since he had evolved from Charmander into Charmeleon, refusing to listen to me. I hardly slept that night, but it was worth it. Charizard obeyed me after that and helped to rescue Pikachu from Team Rocket.

Speaking of Team Rocket, this theory seems to work on them too. There's been a few times throughout my journeys where I've worked with Jessie, James and Meowth. Like that time at Maiden's Peak, when Brock and James fell under the spell of the Maiden's Ghost. Misty and I teamed up with Jessie and Meowth to help bring them back, and it turned out to be a Gastly. Jessie, James, Meowth and myself were the ones to battle it.

There was the time when we teamed up to wake that huge Snorlax who we thought was blocking the water supply to that little village. Then on Mandarin Island, we teamed up again to release the Pokémon that had been put under mind control by Team Rocket's rivals - Butch and Cassidy. There have been times I've helped them, such as when their sub went down near the island with Blastoise and Squirtle. We dragged them from the water and resuscitated them. The other time was when I helped carry the torch with the flame of Moltres to the Pokémon League Games. Team Rocket had tried to snatch the flame - then Meowth caught fire. The fire then spread to Victreebel, then Jessie and James. I had Squirtle douse them with Water Gun. When you're nice to them, chances are they'll be nice in return.

They helped me get into the Celadon Gym, after I was banned, by disguising me as a _girl_, and they posed as my "parents". That would have to be one of the most _embarrassing _episodes of my life. I don't understand why James thinks dressing in drag is fun. It is _humiliating_.

Team Rocket also helped me a few weeks ago. Without them I would never have made it to Ice Island, and gained the third ancient sphere. I never got to thank them for that. Team Rocket aren't so bad…..when they're not trying to steal Pikachu.

I was also taught to try and do what is right, and to stand up for what I believe in. Dad was a firm believer in that. If he was asked to do something that went against his beliefs, he refused to do it. One day, he was asked to give a talk on Pokémon training to some school children. While he was there, a masked gunman burst in, taking the class hostage, and demanded money and help in getting away. Dad managed to persuade the guy to release the kids, and when the gunman asked him to help his getaway, he refused. The police finally burst in and arrested the criminal….but it was too late for Dad. He was found, shot through the heart. Mom and I were devastated, but we found some consolation in the fact that he died doing the right thing, and had died a hero. That is why I stood up to Team Rocket at Indigo Stadium when they stole the flame cauldron at the Opening Ceremonies. Looking back, it was not the brightest thing to do (Misty would say it was downright _stupid_, and quote her favourite line from _Forrest Gump - _"Stupid is as stupid does"), but it was the _right _thing to do. I could not allow Team Rocket to get away with stealing the flame, especially as the flame stood for so much - the ideals of the Pokémon League. Dad would have wanted me to act the way I did, and maybe he was watching over me, as I managed to survive a massive flamethrower. _Someone _or _something_ was watching over me, how else to explain how the flames turned into the Legendary Pokémon, Moltres? By standing up for what is right, I hope to make Dad proud of me.

The most important lesson my parents taught me was to follow my heart when it came to making big decisions. The heart will guide you in making the right choice, the heart tells the truth. That's what Lugia said a few weeks ago, "You must go only where your heart leads." So that's what I'm doing - following my heart. By following my heart, I'm doing what Dad's favourite saying tells me to do. Mom wrote it down in my journal for me - "_To thine own self be true"_ from a play written by a guy called William Shakespeare. Basically it means that you have to be true to yourself, to do what is right for _you_.

So I'm doing what is right for me, and that is to follow my heart. My heart tells me to help others, to save others. The heart tells me that this is right. If that means risking my neck, so be it.

If Misty and Tracey ever read this, I hope they understand. I am willing to risk everything, to give up everything because I care. What is important to me is the welfare of the person or pokémon, not my own welfare. Of course, dying is not something that is very high on my "To do" list, but if it happens, it happens. 

So there you have it - why I keep playing "Mr. Hero". I may not be the brightest spark in the world, but at least I 

try to do what is right. What is right by me - and that is what really matters.

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Author's Note: _Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed "Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better"- I'm rather overwhelmed by the general response. You can all stop laughing now - maybe I'll call it a romantic comedy. As there have been quite a few demands for another like it, I've decided to give you what you want. BUT ONLY WITH YOUR HELP. This author is looking for a few good men….oops…I mean suggestions. Please send me via e-mail any song suggestions, **with **lyrics, if possible (I may not have heard it) from either musicals, TV shows, movies etc. Full credit for the idea will go to the person with the winning suggestion, plus I might let the winner have a sneak peak. If **Pikajenn** is reading this - I'd be glad to do one for Jessie and James , I'll try, at least - all I need is the appropriate song. I do have another song to write on, "The Glory of Love" from Karate Kid II - and by looking at the lyrics - it will probably be **very** mushy and Pokéshippy. You have been warned. So any suggestions send to _[TrishQuan@bigpond.com.au][1] _(for some reason I have the song from Grease - 'You're The One That I Want' floating around my head. Maybe a good idea…..nah…)_

   [1]: mailto:TrishQuan@bigpond.com.au



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